


Freaks of Nature

by L3t_U5_D0_That_Aga1n



Series: Linked Universe Stuff [10]
Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms
Genre: Don't copy to another site, Mask Shenanigans, Weird Biology, magic nonsense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:49:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27771790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/L3t_U5_D0_That_Aga1n/pseuds/L3t_U5_D0_That_Aga1n
Summary: The biological processes and functions of the races of Hyrule is both fascinating and odd.
Relationships: Four & Hyrule & Legend & Sky & Time & Twilight & Warriors & Wild & Wind (Linked Universe)
Series: Linked Universe Stuff [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1469507
Comments: 8
Kudos: 143





	Freaks of Nature

**Freaks of Nature**

**The Legend of Zelda and all related media are property of Nintendo.**

/+/+/+/+/

**(GORON)**

“Boy, Li—er, Wild,” Yunobo scratched the back of his head, “that’s…quite the tale. I mean, I didn’t doubt Princess Zelda’s letter, but hearing it from you…” His eyes darted nervously to Wild’s extradimensional counterparts. “You…You don’t need my help, do you?”

“No,” Wild chuckled, shaking his head, “we just popped in nearby and I figured it’d be best to get some extra fireproof elixirs.” Indeed, aside from himself, only Time and Sky had a means to prevent dying from heat exposure on Death Mountain—and, like most of his counterparts’ specialized gear, was much less bulky than anything he owned.

“Oh, good,” Yunobo sighed in none-too-subtle relief. He then reared back, waving his hands, “N-Not that I wouldn’t help if asked! But I’ve been working a lot with the miners and putting in some training with Bludo and I don’t really think I could leave Death Mountain for so long and—”

“It’s fine,” Wild said with a small smile. “Believe me, I’d rather you spend your time helping Hyrule heal than chasing ghosts across time-and-space.”

Yunobo smiled lightly, “Ah, I’m sure you’ll be fine.” He turned around, “Well, I guess I’ll see you—oh no!” he suddenly shouted falling to his knees, startling Wild (and the others).

Wild moved up next to him, “What’s wrong?”

Yunobo crawled to a small hole in the wall, pulling out a couple steel containers. “Rukka and Yula forgot their lunches! Oh, they’ve gotta be starving by now!”

“Starving?” Wind asked.

“Mining takes up a lot of energy,” was all Yunobo said. He opened the containers, heaving sigh at the sight of a bunch of crushed up, orange rocks. “Rock Roast Flambé?! These’ll be spoiled by the time I get to them!”

“Wait,” Legend arched a brow, “rocks can spoil?”

“Well, more like the heat in them will have dissipated and they’ll be just like any old rock you’d pick up off of the ground.”

“And they can’t just eat that?”

“Would you eat grass?” Time asked with an arched brow.

“I retract my question.”

Wild asked Yunobo, “Where’re they?” His friend pointed to a distant cave on the other side of a lake of lava. “I take it that the rocks will, er, spoil by the time you’d get there?”

“Yeah,” Yunobo nodded. He rose to his feet, “Man, now I’ve got to head to Goron City and get some rations.”

“Is that the best option?” Time asked. At Yunobo’s inquisitive grunt, he elaborated, “Assuming they haven’t eaten anything today—they haven’t, have they?” Yunobo shook his head. “Right, in that case, they’ll have started shutting down, and if they’ve been working really hard—are they particularly had workers?” Yunobo nodded again. “Well, I imagine they’ll have curled up and started sleeping to converse energy by the time you returned from Goron City.”

Yunobo groaned, “I know—they’ll be out of commission for days! And they’re some of our best miners too!”

“Don’t worry,” Time said, “they’ll get their food.”

“Uh, Time,” Four frowned, staring out at the lake of lava, “we’re good, but I don’t think any of us are that good.” Wild had to agree—the only path he could see to the mine was a thin, winding path far to the left. There was a direct minecart path, but there weren’t any nearby by for any of them to use.

“I appreciate the thought,” Yunobo said, “but the fastest way there would be to roll across the lava. Which…you know…” he trailed off.

But the Heroes all hummed as they realized what Time was getting at. Indeed, the older Hero nodded at Yunobo, “Since Wild counts you as a friend, I trust that you won’t spread word as to what you’re about to witness.” Yunobo blinked but nodded.

Time reached into his satchel, pulling out a mask of a goron’s face. He put it on, and in a flash of light, changed forms.

“Woah!” Yunobo shouted. “You’re…tiny!”

Wild blinked— _that_ was the first thing he had to say? But…he did have a point. Time as a Goron barely made it to Yunobo’s chin. And his arms—though bulky compared to a Hylian’s—were like twigs in comparison to Yunobo’s.

Time grunted, “Give me the food.”

“Yes sir!” Yunobo squeaked, shoving the containers in Time’s arms. Time nodded, dropping to the ground and curling into a ball. Yunobo blinked, “Uh, wait, didn’t you hear me say—” he was cut off as time started spinning in place, kicking up dust.

“Actually, yeah,” Legend narrowed his eyes, “it’s not like Gorons are particularly fast.”

“Well, they are going downhill.”

“Yeah, but this is uphill.”

“Actually, it looks like it’s mostly a straight shot—”

“Time’s on fire,” Wind cut off the budding debate.

Everyone paused, staring intently at Time. Indeed, though he’d barely moved forward, orange flames were emanating from his body, growing larger and brighter. Then, an explosion of heat, and Time shot forward, stone spikes jutting out of his body, fire trailing after him as he zoomed through the magma.

“Wha…” Yunobo trailed off, eyes wide and jaw dropped open.

“I uh, I take it Gorons don’t do that,” Hyrule said.

“No,” Yunobo shook his head, “I mean, fire magic comes easy to us, but I’ve never heard of anyone using it like that. And those spikes…” silence followed his statements. It did not grow oppressive, though, as Time returned not a minute later, sans containers.

“Your men are well-fed, and embarrassed that such a thing happened to them,” he said, before taking off his mask and returning to his Hylian form.

“W-What was that?!”

Time made to reply, but Legend cut him off. With a scowl, he said, “Don’t bother. Man’s lips are shut tighter Boss Room.” Time said nothing, but there was a mischievous gleam in his eyes.

/+/+/+/+/

**(DEKU)**

“Mr. Time Hero, Mr. Time Hero!” Hestu jumped in place, “Is it true that you lived in the Forest a really, _really_ long time ago?!”

“Yes…Hestu, was it?”

The large Korok let out a little ‘woah!’, shaking his maracas vigorously. “You must be as old as the Great Deku Tree!”

“Technically,” the guardian of the forest chimed in, “he is older than me.”

“Oh, please don’t start,” Time chuckled, taking a moment to shove a couple Koroks off of him, only for three more to take their place.

A bit away, the other Heroes stared in undisguised shock as Time held a very casual conversation with the closest thing Wild’s Hyrule had to a living god; while that same god’s children clambered all over him.

“Still weird,” Warriors shivered.

“I think it’s nice,” Four said.

“Yeah,” Sky nodded. He then chuckled “At least he’s handling things better than Wind.” The Heroes turned to their youngest member, who flailing at the bottom of a sizeable Korok-pile.

“Hey, hey, hey!” Hestu shouted, shaking his maracas in Time’s face. “Since you’re so old,” Time’s eye twitched, “maybe _you_ can tell us something.”

“Well, I do know quite a lot of ‘somethings’.”

Hestu giggled. “What does ‘Deku’ mean?”

Time blinked, before turning to the Great Deku Tree. The tree preformed his equivalent of a shrug. Time huffed, turning back to Hestu, “It’s old—really hold—Hylian. Roughly translates to ‘wooden puppet’. An apt description, as all Deku are—were, in this era’s context—merely extensions of the Forest’s will.”

“Oh…” Hestu and several Koroks hummed in understanding. Then, one of them said, “What did they look like? Did they look like us?”

Time looked over the spirits with a critical eye. “Not…exactly. Their bodies were also made of wood, but their bodies were generally larger—not as large as Hestu,” he patted the giant Korok’s belly, making him giggle, “but the smallest of them was still taller than the rest of you.”

“What else, what else?!” they crowded around him.

Time scratched his chin, before smirking, “How about I show you.” He stood, gesturing for the Koroks to back-up. He reached into his satchel, pulling out a wooden mask.

“What’s that?” a Korok asked.

“A mask of a Deku,” Time replied.

Hestu gasped, “Oh! Are you going to put on a show? Do you need back-up music?!”

Time chuckled, “Not quite—but I may ask for your musical talents.” Hestu started vibrating in place, prompting his Korok kin to slowly step away from him. Time just put on his mask, a flash of light quickly overtaking his form.

Within seconds, the light dissipated, and a Deku Scrub with Time’s features was in his place.

“Woah!” the Koroks exclaimed, before crowding around Time once more. “You shrunk!” more than a few of them stated.

Time chuckled, “I noticed.” He gestured to himself, “See the differences?”

“How come your mouth’s like that?”

“I’d ask the same of you,” Time replied, gesturing to the Korok’s leaf-face.

“What can you do?” A Korok asked.

“A lot of things,” Time replied. He shook his head, and the golden leaves atop it vanished, a myriad of sharp brown roots taking their place. The Koroks ‘ooed’ and ‘ahhd’, though Time stopped the few that tried to touch them. “Don’t,” he said, “they’re poisonous.”

“We’re made of wood,” a Korok replied. To which Time shrugged, sitting down and letting the Koroks pull and poke the roots.

The other Heroes watched as Time went on to explain the physiology of Deku Scrubs, Legend and Four—the only other Heroes to meet the creatures—paying especially close attention.

“Wait, wait, wait!” Hyrule shouted as Time finished explaining his latest ability. “You…You weaponize your snot?”

Time grunted, “It’s not snot. It’s tree sap. A different concentration of tree sap than the one that flows through trees that only Deku capable of magic—” he stopped, sighing at the confused faces around him, “fine, yes, it’s magic tree snot.”

The Great Deku Tree laughed, “Not all can appreciate the nuances of life.”

Time huffed, grumbling beneath his breath. His undamaged eye then brightened in what everyone had been informed was the Deku Scrub equivalent of a smile. He spun around the Koroks, climbing up one of the Great Deku Tree’s roots. Then he reached behind his back, pulling out—

“What the hell?!” Legend shouted as six massive cones shot up from Time’s back. “The hell are those?!”

“Deku Pipes,” Time replied, maneuvering a long stalk into his mouth. Seconds later, melodious notes filtered through the instrument.

“SHALA-KALA!” Hestu exclaimed, moving in front of Time and shaking his maracas with an upbeat dance. The other Koroks joined in shortly thereafter.

“…Ok, I take it back,” Four muttered, “this _is_ a little weird.”

“It’s weird that he’s happy?” Twilight arched a brow (in a pale imitation of Time, everyone else noticed).

“It’s weird that he turned himself into a—in this era—extinct forest spirit to lead the current forest spirits in a dance party,” Warriors flatly replied.

“…Ok, sure.”

/+/+/+/+/

**(ZORA)**

“It’s quite fortuitous that we meet right now, my friends! Truly, fate shines down on us!” Sidon, Prince of the Zora, exclaimed, bringing his right arm across his chest, pointing his thumb up, and sending a bright smile at the Heroes.

“His cheerfulness is almost blinding,” Four whispered to his fellows.

“Tell me about it,” Wild chuckled in fond exasperation. To Sidon, he asked, “What are you doing so far away from Zora’s Domain?”

Sidon’s smile dropped a touch, “Oh, it’s some Lizalfos. On top of setting up base out at sea, they’re stocked to the brim with shock arrows.”

Warriors frowned, “I can see how the electric arrows might be a problem, but what’s with the sea? Aren’t you an aquatic species?”

“Hm? Oh, right,” Sidon crossed his arms, “I always forget that most Hylians are ignorant of Zora physiology.” Warriors made to apologize, but Sidon waved him off with a smile, “It’s fine! Most Zora are unfamiliar with how Hylian’s live as well. You see, us Zora can only survive in freshwater environments.”

“Really? Like—and pardon the comparison—your average fish?” Hyrule asked.

“Exactly!” Sidon nodded. “I’ve heard tales that there used to be Zora that could swim as easily in saltwater as fresh water, but nowadays, while we can do it if pressed, we’d be under severe, constant pain until we could wash ourselves free of the salt.”

“Wait,” Wild frowned, “but I thought…didn’t Mipha once complete some sort of obstacle course in Lanayru Bay?”

“Yes,” Sidon sighed, face twisting into a grimace, “and the only reason she didn’t pass out and drown from the pain is because she kept using her magic to heal herself. And she was still laid in bed for weeks after the act. Ah,” Sidon smiled once more, “but then you sent her a letter, and she quickly grew better!” Wild, instead of growing reassured, as Sidon no doubt intended wilted.

Sky cleared his throat, bringing everyone’s attention to him (and off of Wild). He said, “Do need any help?”

“Oh, I wouldn’t want to put any of you on the spot! I’m the Prince of the Zora—this is my responsibility.”

“No,” Wild said above the others, “we’d be glad to help.” A few of them were a little put-out at being volunteered, but the resolute glare in Wild’s eyes made them acquiesce, nonetheless.

It was a fairly short trip to the coastline, after which Sidon pointed out the Lizalfos base.

“Woah,” Four goggled, “the fish that skull came out of must’ve been massive!”

“Seen bigger,” Time, Wind, and Legend said in unison. They blinked, exchanging glances, silently agreeing to compare notes at a later date.

“I’m not that great a shot with a bow, I’m afraid,” Sidon said, blushing a touch, “so until I came across you all, my best bet was to, essentially, yell to grab their attention, and hope to annoy them enough to force them to come ashore.”

“We’re all pretty decent with a bow,” Hyrule piped up.

“In this wind?” Sky replied with an arched brow.

“Give me a minute,” Wind said, reaching into his pouch.

“Too bad about that whole freshwater saltwater thing, huh?” Twilight said, lightly bumping Time’s shoulder.

“Not really,” the older Hero replied. He nodded at Wild, “Sidon’s another one of those four new Champions, correct? Like Yunobo?”

Sidon tilted his head with a frown, but Wild nodded. “Yeah. I trust him implicitly.”

Sidon smiled down at Wild, “I’d hope so. In another life, we’d have been family!”

The color drained from Wild’s face, to which Time replied, “Ok, I don’t think we have time to unpack _that_.” That said, Time pulled out his Zora mask, putting it on and, a bright light overtaking his form.

When the light dissipated, Sidon was the first to speak. “My word! Are you…Are you supposed to be a Zora?”

“Yes,” Time replied, voice sibilant. “Keep an eye out for any Lizalfos that try to escape.” Then, without another word, he sprinted into the water, rocketing away within seconds.

Sidon stared after him, eyes wide. “…Given how fast he’s going, we’d hear the screaming by now. He must be immune to its effects”

“Maybe that’s what old seawater Zora looked like,” Four said.

“We’ve seen him use that form to dive into ponds and lakes,” Twilight countered.

“Truly?” Sidon asked, not looking away from Time. “My word, this is a rather strange group you’ve surrounded yourself with, my friend.”

Wild shrugged, “They have their uses.”

“Better get ready,” Legend said, pulling out his bow.

“Yeah—wait,” Sky paused, “He said to keep an eye out for any that try to _escape_.”

Sidon blinked. “He means to take them all out on his own?”

“Ah, he’ll be fine,” Hyrule shrugged, “there’s only eight of them.”

“But they’re armed with electric arrows,” Legend reminded them. “And he’s in water.”

“…He’ll be fine,” Hyrule repeated, much less sure.

Indeed, at that moment the Lizalfos finally took notice of him and started to aim.

“If he dives deep enough the electricity shouldn’t reach him,” Twilight said.

“Doesn’t look like that’s his plan,” Four countered.

“Well,” Sidon chuckled, trying and failing to plaster a smile on his face, “he is certainly braver than I!”

Legend made to reply, only for his eyes to bulge out of his head as a giant, sea green, conical forcefield surrounded Time, deflecting the arrows.

“My word!” Sidon exclaimed.

“A magic forcefield,” Wind hummed, “makes sense.” Then Time leapt out of the water, bowled a handful of Lizalfos as he reentered the water, causing monsters to seize, _lightning_ arcing through their bodies. “…An electrical magic forcefield,” Wind amended with a frown. “That…makes less sense. For a fish-person, at least.”

Wild turned to Sidon, but the Zora just stared slack jawed as Time zipped around and through the monsters, killing them one-by-one.

Not a single one escaped.

Time returned to the stunned silent Heroes and Prince, smirking as he removed his mask.

/+/+/+/+/

**(RITO?)**

Kass hummed, “Well, as much as I would love to gather all your stories, I cannot. My children have recently…taken to exploring. They’ve even roped Teba’s boy into their recent venture—and that’s one bird I don’t want mad at me.” He flapped his powerful wings, rising into the air, “With luck, the next time our paths cross will be soon.”

Wild smiled and waved at Kass as he flew away. Then he, and the others, turned to Time expectantly. The older Hero blinked, “What?”

“Aren’t you going to help him look for those kids?” Twilight asked.

“I think he can manage that better than I.”

“Don’t be coy,” Legend replied with a dismissive gesture, “Just put on one of your weird masks and take to the air like a bird-person.”

“Rito,” Wild and Wind corrected him.

“Whatever.”

“I would…if I had such a mask.”

Sky tilted his head, “Wait…you don’t have a mask for the Rito?”

“No.”

“…Really?”

“Really,” Time huffed, exasperated. “Until this bizarre set of circumstances, the closest thing I ever knew of sentient birds was a couple talkative owl—one of whom was really the Sage of Light and something I still have questions about—and a dream I had at Lake Hylia after an unsuccessful round of fishing.”

“Oh…” Hyrule tilted his head, “that’s…fair.”

“Yeah,” Wind nodded, “Until now, I’d only ever heard of Zora in stories.” He then frowned, “But, uh, in my world, the Zora of old evolved _into_ the Rito.” His statement was met with wide, blank stares. “…I think.”

“H…How?” Twilight asked.

“Well, considering the fact that Hyrule was flooded and trapped in a bubble, I assume the goddesses wouldn’t have wanted anyone to dive down and find it.” Wind crossed his arms, glaring at the floor in thought, “Although, even before it all flooded, we were able to grab treasure chests from what should have been the sea floor, and submarines are a thing so…” he trailed off, grumbling beneath his breath.

“Let’s focus on the whole ‘fish-people becoming bird-people’ thing instead of trying to find logic in divine quick-fixes,” Four stated.

“Can we do neither?” Legend asked.

“That is also an option.”

/+/+/+/+/

**A/N: Even with all the magic nonsense in the Zelda franchise, I’m glad that Mikau, Darmani and the Deku Butler’s Son (and their respective masks) still have largely unique powers. Be sure to leave a review. Later.**


End file.
